Tuesday, September 13, 2011

From the Horses Mouth

At a certain point this summer I realized I had to start recording the ridiculous things I was hearing so I began a small journal for doing just that. So here are the funniest things I heard this summer while working with rich teenage girls:

"I've met Nick Lache like ten times. My dad golfs with him."

Me: "Have any of you ever been to a third world country?"
Camper: "Yeah! We stayed at an awesome hotel in Costa Rica."

While sitting on a boulder in a lake: "Where are we getting our water from?"

Camper: "I love going to our lake with my family. We hike our mountain and then at the top we pick fresh blueberries."
Me: "You mean you hike the mountain where your lake house is?"
Camper: "No it's my mountain."
Me: "Oh so you call it your mountain because it's close to the lake."
Camper: "No we own the lake and the mountain."
Me: "Oh."

"If you close your eyes and imagine you're in a movie theater then these banana chips taste like popcorn."
Funny thing is they did.

While rubbing what was supposed to be Gold Bond on her feet: "This powder feels and smells funny."
Me: "Yep, that's because it's powdered hummus."

Me: "Guys, this plant smells like candy!"
Camper: "Really? ... Ew, Jenna you farted."
Me: Hours of laughter

Camper: "This apple chip looks like a cat butt."
Me: "Dang it. You're right."

Instructors: "We're taking showers outside this week!"
Camper(s): hysterical crying

Camper: "What are intestinal worms?"
Me: "Well, it's a parasite normally transmitted when we accidentally ingest traces of feces. They start as eggs and then when they get to our intestines they make home and can grow to be four inches long. Then you poop them out."
Camper: silence

Love,
 la Loba

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