The Learning Curve of Life

Dear Loved Ones,

I am out of the woods. That's right, I made it! After some serious misquito bites and a few bear fights later I find myself back in society enjoying some alone time while admiring the golden pink sunset of the Adirondacks. Where do I begin? I find that this time can be summed up in three words:

Steep.

Learning.

Curve.

Ya know, I never enjoyed statistics seeing as how I am a personal fan of calculus, but this graph-like roller coaster is kind of fun. Statistical graphs are useful because they give us an idea of what variables correlate with one another. And we see them everywhere. Red traffic lights correlate with number of stopping vehicles. Eating three pieces of pie tends to correlate with visciousness of belly ache. And number of hours olympic athletes practice correlates with olympic medals won. Get it? It's pretty simple really. But what if we were to break down our own personal lives statistically? What would this look like? And how many dimensions of graphs would we find?

This past week, Thursday to Thursday, was spent in the woods with 9 teenage girls and two co-staff. And although I was quite intimidated at the thought of this, I found that indeed they are simply little lambs needing personal direction. And I loved every minute of it. Ok, except for the time we were out of TP and I had to use the gigantic leaves of the Witche's Hobble plant. Upside? I am now an expert Witche's Hobble identifier. And guess what? These girls are Hil-Ar-I-Ous! As we hiked, I listened to them sing broadway songs and as we ate lunch I was entertained by a word by word rendition from a scene from the Shinning. I giggled inside as I witnessed over and over again the shocked look on the new students' faces as we told them that yes, they need to poop in the "luggy" in the middle of the forest. But there were hard moments too as I listened to new students cry in the middle of the night from under my tarp, overwhlemed by the strongest feeling of abandonment they have ever experienced. And when the girls shared their struggles with self-harming and mutilation. And when many confessed their complete lack of relationship with their parents. And although my resume claims I am expert with teens, there were moments where I literally had nothing to say in response to their pain.

So what does statistics have to do with this you say? And again I say "Everything!" Positive correlation is when the presence of one variable creates a "positive" or similar effect in the other. Example: lots of rain in April bring lots of flowers in May. Negative correlations have the opposite effect: an increased number of misquito bites  = less time spent outside. OK, so we got it? Now, let me share with you vicariously through a mathematical breakdown of my time in the woods...

Positive Correlations:

-number of prunes given to the student after day three of no doodie and chances of morning poo

-high heat index and number of black fly bites

-depth of sleep after 7 AM and chances my co-staff will wake me up by throwing rocks at my tarp

-Number of times I fart around my co-staff and number of rocks they threw at my tarp to wake me up

-Amount of rain on a hike and chances of me face planting in front of students

-Number of bowls of 'Spuds 'N Beans' and desire for ice cream while watching The Princess Bride

Negative Correlations:

-the near sound of coyotes howling at 2 AM and my ability to move/breathe

-number of days spent in the woods with one pair of clothes and ability to attract men

-stories shared about brokennes of homelives and my provision of any comforting words

-Need to create emotional insularity between students and myself and my ability to do so.

We've learned a lot today so I will leave you with just one more statistical rule: There is always room for deviation. Well, I am off to watch The Princess Bride and/or Tangled while eating coffee ice cream!

Adios! La Loba

 PS I won the bear fights.