Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Highway Horror: When Wheelchairs Go Bad

Biking in Philadelphia is kind of like that game "Frogger" where you try to cross a road without being crushed by the wheels of a car... except in real life. We all know that vehicles can get out of control from time to time but never in my life have I experienced driving as I have in Philadelphia. Because cities are basically huge blocks of concrete with thousands of people huddled together within very small perimeters, it makes sense that the parking system would also lack in space. So what was once possibly a very tight two lane road has now become a one way road 7 feet wide between two rows of parked cars. What is considered 'regulatory' driving standards in most places becomes a preference of choice for others. For example, stop signs become "just-slow-down-a-little" signs, blinkers are simply trivial decorations, and red means go.... duh. But not even the most surprising of traffic violations and transportational slap in the faces could prepare me for what I now have come to understand as a regular traffic expectancy...

Imagine this: you're driving down Girard Street, chattin it up with your buddy in the passenger seat, semi-obeying the light signals and stop signs, listeing to Keisha and then BOOM- COMING STRAIGHT AT YOU, IN THE SAME LANE, IS AN OLD MAN IN AN ELECTRONIC WHEELCHAIR. What was supposed to be a pleasant afternoon ride to Dunkin Donuts has now become the most terrifying game of chicken ever experienced by man. You have about 4 seconds to swerve away before you most definitely nick the old man's chair, catapulting him onto further oncoming traffic, a sure death if he even survived the initial blow. Fortunately, no one was in the lane next to you and if they were, well, they got out of the way too. You look back in your rearview mirror unsure if you just imagined it all. But no, there he is, puttin' along at a whopping 10 miles an hour while you watch further traffic almost kill him... again and again.

And the best part of this whole scenario is that the person in question seems as if they are about to fall asleep, head bent over, are your eyes even open? "No 40 mph SUV gonna make me blink!" But the question is WHHHHYYYYYY. Why do you feel the need to risk your life daily and quite possibly destroy the only form of transportation you have (maybe those should be reversed?)??? The only reason we could guess is that the sidewalks... are.... bumpy? Perhaps the road, in it's black tar levelness allures them to risk it all for the comfort of a smooth ride. You see, the trees of Philly, confined by large amounts of concrete, have decided to rebel by causing their powerful roots to break apart large chunks of sidewalk making it almost impossible to walk down let alone scooter. So here we have it, the only semi-plausible answer. Besides, I heard Obama thinks wheelchairs will be the next up and coming hybrid of choice.

La Loba

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